Self portrait, 2017 or 18

Again, another older painting- but I am feeling very unhappy because I was mean to my mother on the phone the other day, and I feel very guilty and terrible- even though I keep having to tell myself that she doesn’t care about me.. But I can’t help to still love her and wish that I could actually have a mom. I’m still very much a child in my mind- a child who’s too smart, causing depression.

2019, self portrait

This is old, but I’m still real sad. Just two years ago I see myself now as not thinking normally.. I am just so thankful to be with the man that I’m with.. he deserves so much better than me. But we are still together, and I remember when I made this I was just being a fucking piece of shit, but at the time I felt like a victim.. I hate all of my art, because I have ptsd- and it’s like- they all just trigger me. It’s the only reason I’m gonna start selling them again. I’ve changed so much. It hurts, but it’s better to know.

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started